Sept. 10The fall TV season's new shows have led me to have a minor existential crisis: Are things really this dull, or am I just getting that jaded?
It's not like I hated any of the new offerings, but I have trouble finding anything to love. Even the shows I found most interesting ( New Girl on Fox, Person of Interest on CBS) would have a hard time earning space on my DVR were it not for a sense of professional obligation.
Where is the emotional resonance of a Friday Night Lights? The intrigue of a Lost? The sharp-edged wit of shows like Parks & Recreation or Community? (Thankfully, those last two are coming back.) So far, I'm just not seeing it.
Sure, it's always hard to judge from pilots some shows get better after their premieres . We can always hope. But judging from my first look at fall, this is not network TV's finest hour.
Here's a preview of what's coming up.
Five fall trends
Forward into the past: Mad Men's 1960s influence shows in The Playboy Club (9 p.m. Sept. 19, NBC) and Pan Am (9 p.m. Sept. 25, ABC), neither of which is in the same league as Mad Men. There are also new versions of shows that were successful in other decades ( Charlie's Angels, 7 p.m. Sept. 22, ABC), in other countries ( The X Factor , 7 p.m. Sept. 21-22, Fox) and in other decades in other countries ( Prime Suspect , 9 p.m. Sept. 22, NBC).
Odd couples: Hank Azaria and Kathryn Hahn play rival colleagues who can't keep their hands off each other in Free Agents (9:30 p.m. Wednesday, NBC), a sexy sitcom that should raise a few eyebrows and hackles. A street-smart waitress and a socialite who has fallen on hard times (Kat Dennings, Beth Behrs) become best buds with a big dream in 2 Broke Girls (8:30 p.m. Sept. 19, CBS). David Hornsby plays a dapper etiquette columnist who teams up with a slovenly gym owner (Kevin Dillon) to learn how not to be a gentleman in How To Be a Gentleman (7:30 p.m. Sept. 29, CBS).
Former series stars give it another try: Tim Allen stars in Last Man Standing (7 p.m. Oct. 11, ABC), which is essentially Home Improvement with daughters instead of sons. Sarah Michelle Gellar returns in Ringer (8 p.m. Tuesday, CW) as twin sisters, but she's not as good in either role as she was in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The O.C.'s Rachel Bilson goes from supporting actress to lead in Hart of Dixie (8 p.m. Sept. 26, CW), but seems miscast as a cardiothoracic surgeon who gets uprooted from Manhattan to run a practice in the Deep South.
Women rule: Aside from the female-led shows previously mentioned, there's also The Secret Circle (8 p.m. Thursday, CW), with Britt Robertson leading a witchy ensemble; Zooey Deschanel as the New Girl (8 p.m. Sept. 20, Fox); Without a Trace's Poppy Montgomery as a detective with a near-infallible memory in Unforgettable (9 p.m. Sept. 20, CBS); Brothers & Sisters' Emily VanCamp as a young woman out for Revenge (9 p.m. Sept. 21, ABC); and Chelsea Lately's Whitney Cummings in the imaginatively titled Whitney (8:30 p.m. Sept. 22, NBC) .
Veteran stars joining veteran shows: Ashton Kutcher is replacing Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men (8 p.m. Sept. 19, CBS), but can Kutcher remember all the words to the show's theme song? Ted Danson tries to breathe new life into the long-running CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (9 p.m. Sept. 21, CBS) as a new CSI supervisor; he also tries to see if he's on a show that can survive a move to Wednesdays after a long Thursday run. And James Spader becomes Steve Carell's enigmatic replacement in The Office (8 p.m. Sept. 22, NBC).
Five new shows I kinda like
New Girl : Zooey Deschanel is perfectly cast in this sitcom as a quirky young woman who moves in with a bunch of guys after her boyfriend dumps her. I find Deschanel charming, but we also understand why some people find her slightly ditzy act irritating. Still, she might make some converts here.
Person of Interest : Most pilot episodes have too much exposition, but this odd drama starring Jim Caviezel as a brooding ex-CIA agent and Lost's Michael Emerson as a mysterious billionaire who has created a computer program that can detect violent crimes before they happen poses as many questions as it answers in its premiere (8 p.m. Sept. 22, CBS). But I'm willing to give anything with J.J. Abrams' name connected a few episodes to prove itself.
Pan Am : No, this 1960s-set airborne soap opera isn't as good as Mad Men, and it kept calling to mind quotes from Airplane! But unlike so many of this season's new shows, this drama about pilots and "stewardesses" doesn't take itself too seriously, and it has so many pretty people in it (Christina Ricci) that it's fun on its own terms.
Unforgettable : Sure, this drama about a detective with a near-perfect memory is just another procedural with a gimmick we just happen to like the gimmick, especially after discovering that some real-life people (including actress Marilu Henner) say they have similarly infallible memories.
Whitney : A lot of critics didn't like this somewhat forced comedy starring Chelsea Lately's Whitney Cummings as a young woman happily unmarried to her boyfriend of three years. And it would play better on cable than on network TV. But something about the pilot especially Cummings' scenes with Chris D'Elia, who plays her boyfriend keeps sticking with me, enough to make me want to check out a few extra episodes to see if the comedy finds a groove.
Five new shows
I could do without
Ringer : Sarah Michelle Gellar was great in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but as twin sisters with secrets, she seems in over her head(s). The story is the kind of thing Alfred Hitchcock did well, but the execution isn't even as good as Brian De Palma on a bad day.
Suburgatory : Jeremy Sisto ( Six Feet Under) stars in this condescending comedy as an urban single dad who discovers condoms in his teenage daughter's room and decides that's reason enough to move from the city to the suburbs. Yeah, because teens can't get in trouble there, right? (7:30 p.m. Sept. 28, ABC)
Man Up : This sitcom is about three sensitive young guys trying to find their inner "real men." It reminds me a little of Carpoolers. That's not a good thing. (7:30 p.m. Oct. 18, ABC)
Once Upon a Time : House's Jennifer Morrison plays a bail bondswoman who discovers that she just may be the daughter of Snow White ( Big Love's Ginnifer Goodwin) and has to battle an evil queen (Lana Parrilla). It could have been fun, but it's a self-serious drag only Robert Carlyle, who plays Rumpelstiltskin, seems to be having a good time. (7 p.m. Oct. 23, ABC)
I Hate My Teenage Daughter : Only people who already hate their teenage daughters should go for this sitcom about two single moms (Jaime Pressly, Katie Finneran) befuddled by their spoiled teen girls. (8:30 p.m. Nov. 30, Fox)
Five new shows likely to see a second season
The X Factor : It's The Voice and American Idol on steroids, complete with the reunion of Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul on the judge/mentor panel. Gonna be huge.
The Secret Circle : Granted, this show about a town full of witches is just sorta OK, but its lead-in is The Vampire Diaries, the CW's biggest success, and Circle is likely to hold on to that show's audience.
Pan Am : This is likely to retain an audience from lead-in Desperate Housewives, which is no doubt going to see a ratings bump in its final season.
Last Man Standing : Some modern technology references aside, Tim Allen's new sitcom looks as if it were made during the Home Improvement era, and that old-school feel may be enough to attract people weary of today's cruder sitcoms.
Unforgettable : A new show couldn't ask for a cushier time slot than following CBS' hit tandem of NCIS and NCIS: Los Angeles, and this actually works better in that lineup than The Good Wife, even though The Good Wife is a far superior show.
Five shows (not all new) that could struggle
Terra Nova : Yeah, it looks great, it has heavy network support, it has Steven Spielberg's name, and it has dinosaurs. But if it doesn't get the monster ratings to justify its monster expense, don't expect it to stick around. (Premieres 7 p.m. on Fox)
Charlie's Angels : Sometimes, revisiting an old idea works, as it did with Hawaii Five-0 last year. But it doesn't work here, especially in a time slot (7 p.m. Thursdays) where its network (ABC) has had trouble getting traction for more than two decades.
The Good Wife : What was CBS thinking when it moved its most acclaimed drama from a successful 9 p.m. Tuesday slot to an unstable 8 p.m. Sunday one? (Premieres Sept. 25)
Harry's Law : This midseason hit was the only success story among NBC's new scripted shows last year, and it earned star Kathy Bates an Emmy nomination. So NBC moves it out of the time slot where it worked (9 p.m. Mondays) to 8 p.m. Wednesdays, where it will get crushed by The X Factor, not to mention Criminal Minds and Modern Family. (Premieres Sept. 21)
I Hate My Teenage Daughter : What's a bigger vote of network no-confidence than premiering a fall show on Nov. 23, the last night of November sweeps? Moving it back a week, which Fox did recently with this iffy sitcom.
Five promising new cable shows
Homeland : Claire Danes plays a CIA agent who suspects that a returning former POW (Damian Lewis) may have been brainwashed into an al Qaeda operative. (9 p.m. Oct. 2, Showtime)
American Horror Story : Buzz is strong for this drama from Glee's producers about a haunted family (Dylan McDermott, Friday Night Lights' Connie Britton and Taissa Farmiga) that becomes haunted in a completely different way when it relocates from Boston to L.A. Jessica Lange co-stars. (9 p.m. Oct. 5, FX)
Enlightened : Usually it's Showtime doing the quirky female-led comedy-dramas, but HBO takes its turn with this series (created by Freaks and Geeks' Mike White), starring Laura Dern as an executive on the road to recovery after a breakdown. Diane Ladd, Dern's real-life mother, plays her mom; Luke Wilson plays her ex-husband. (8:30 p.m. Oct. 10, HBO)
Boss : Kelsey Grammer does drama as the mayor of Chicago, which is always good for some political volatility. (9 p.m. Oct. 21, Starz)
Hell on Wheels : AMC's track record with dramas has been spotty ever since the one-two punch of Mad Men and Breaking Bad, but I'm still looking forward to this Western starring Anson Mount as a former Confederate soldier out for revenge during the construction of the first transcontinental railroad. (9 p.m. Nov. 6, AMC)
Robert Philpot, 817-390-7872
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