Where are all the Grown-ups?
This week begins where last week left off: Mike and Ronnie deep in the throes of a fist fight.
A Jersey-Style Beating
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Can anyone explain to me why these guys are fighting? Deena pleads with them to "not make this Jersey." Because apparently beating the hell out of each other for no reason is something that only happens in New Jersey. Sammi explains that she's "the only one who understands why Ron is acting like this right now." Please, Sammi, enlighten the rest of us.
Mike's Head vs. The Wall
Someone call an ambulance! The Situation is bleeding! After bashing his own head through a Sheetrock wall, Mike is rushed to the emergency room. Or the Pronto Soccorso, as they call it in Italia. Jenni pleads, "I don't want him dead." Well, jeez, Jenni, I don't think anyone wants the guy to DIE. A moderate concussion or a massively severe headache would serve him just fine.
It's a Hard-Knock Life
Pauly D. waits for hours with Mike in the ER, and he's all upset about it. Don't worry, Pauly, it's not like you have to get up early for work tomorrow or anything. Your job is to drink too much and fight too much and basically be all-around irresponsible. Eventually, we learn from Vinny that "it's no serious problem. It's just, like a blow to the head." Is "like a blow to the head" the official diagnosis?
Jersey Shore… For the Hearing-Impaired
Hey, here's a tip for all you Jersey Shore viewers: I randomly decided to watch this episode with closed captioning, and let me tell you, it's quite entertaining. The captions include atmospheric descriptions like "dramatic music," "mellow music," "grunts" and "groans." Yup, that's this show in a nutshell -- fabricated drama and a whole lot of grunting.
Future Mrs. Some Guy
Sammi has resolved to move on. She is certain that "some guy" will love her for who she is, and that guy is not Ron. Well, I agree with you on half of that, Sam. It's not Ron. But I'm not so sure you'll find a man who will be able to see through the drunken mess and fall in love with your soul. It may be time to make some life changes, honey.
Terminally Delusional
At the end of the day, Mike makes a heartfelt admission that he and Snooki have come to terms with the fact that they love each other. Um, no, I don't think so, Mike. Maybe you've come to these terms, but Snooki still seems pretty in love with Jianni. Apparently that blow to the head did more damage than you think.
Quotes
Ron, After the Fight
"I'll be in the smush room, I guess."
--Ron moves his stuff out of Sammi's room.
Ron, in an Interview
"Vinny is the Dr. Phil of the house."
--Ron commenting on Vinny's attempt to patch things up amongst the roommates.
Jenni, in an Interview
“Is Ron and Sam together? Or is Ron and Sam not together?”
-Jenni, trying to figure out what's going on between Sammi and Ronnie.
Does anyone have any answers as to what that fight was really about? Do you think Mike's neck brace was just for show, or was he actually hurt? And will it take another slam to the skull for Mike to realize that Snooki isn't interested in him?
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