(AP Photo/Chris Pizzello)
Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi
The entire fourth season of the hit reality series "Jersey Shore" saw Snooki spiral into more and more of a meltdown-prone mess. Between drama with her boyfriend back home, violent, glass-vase-throwing fights with Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, and an alarming number of drunken debacles, the show could have largely survived just off the scandals that Snooki provided. At one point, she even crashed into a police car, sending two Italian officers to the hospital for minor injuries. Even off the set of "Jersey Shore", the drama continues: Snooki is currently ringing in 2012 with a $7 million merchandising lawsuit.
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Does This Neck Brace Make Me Look Stupid?
There's Still Time for Sightseeing
The Situation's got himself into quite a situation. He bashed his own head through a wall and now he's got to wear a neck brace for ten
days. He can't even GTL! Oh, the tragedy. Pauly claims Mike's wasting his time in Italy by moping around. Guess what, Pauly? All any of you do is get drunk and pass out. You're ALL wasting your time in Italy.
Want Some Mozzarella with that Whine?
Everyone thinks Mike's faking his injury. Vinny and Pauly put on neck braces and mimic Mike's whining for the cameras, and the girls have a complain-about-Mike's-behavior powwow. Jenni refuses to show him sympathy because he's being so fake. Then again, every single person on this show has made a living from being fake. Including you and those "boobs" of yours, Jenni.
Ah, Young Love
Ronnie and Sammi still "love" each other, which means they get wasted and hook up again. You know it's special when you can only stand each other when you're drunk. Meanwhile, Jionni is constantly telling Snooki to "not be stupid." Hey Jionni, while you're at it, why don’t you tell pizza to not be fattening and money to actually start growing on trees?
Deena slicks Pauly's hair into a faux-hawk, and he thinks it's hilarious. "Yo," he says, "I look like them guidos on TV who try too hard." Wow. It's just too easy. He and Vinny put on a skit-show, making fun of moronic drunken Italians on reality TV. I...I just don't even know where to begin. The fact that they don't understand that they're making fun of themselves is truly troubling.
A Comedy of Errors
Later, Snooki and Deena get into a brawl with some American girls at a club and wind up unwittingly pulling each other's hair out, Elis has a hickey on his neck that he claims is from his sister, and Snooki tells off a priest. Only on Jersey Shore, people.
Do you think Snooki and Jionni should break up? What did you make of the "fake" guido comedy show? And am I the only one who noticed that Snooki's poof is back?