If anybody comes close to fitting the blueprint of the ideal NFL quarterback, it's Eli Manning. And if there's anything else in the world for which Manning is an even better fit, it's that of a corporate pitchman.
Tall, athletic and a decent-looking guy who's a proven winner, Manning is also as uncontroversial as Joe Namath used to be rebellious. His reputation is as spotless as Michael Vick's has been sullied. So when Manning won his second Super Bowl MVP trophy this past Sunday after leading the New York Giants to a championship for the second time, the suits at Disney couldn't have been happier to have Eli delivering the famous line from their iconic post-Super Bowl commercial: "I'm going to Disney World!"
But what's next? The end of the Super Bowl marks the beginning of seven months for NFL players to have a vacation. For Eli Manning, it's his chance to capitalize on the big win and further build the Eli brand. How can the squeaky-clean QB make his mark on the entertainment world after his Disney World trip?
Host Saturday Night Live
A couple of months after Eli's big brother, Peyton Manning, received his Super Bowl MVP honors as the QB of the Indianapolis Colts in 2007, he hosted SNL. And he was good -- as good as any pro athlete who had ever appeared on the show. Eli doesn't appear to have Peyton's wry sense of humor or his ease in front of the camera (unless he's wearing a helmet), but Eli is the king of New York City right now and SNL might want to strike while the iron is hot.
Eli's people should make sure he gets script approval first, though. SNL head writer Seth Meyers is a self-professed Pittsburgh Steelers fan, and he also roots for the NBA's Celtics and MLB's Red Sox -- the New England neighbors of the Patriots team that Eli has ripped apart twice in two Super Bowl meetings.
Throw in a smaller small-screen role
Eli should have his pick of sitcoms and TV dramas on which to make a guest appearance, but the one that seems like the best fit is The Big Bang Theory. It'd be lazy to cast Eli as one of Penny's latest corn-fed jocks of a love interest, so let's go in another direction. Use that Southern accent and slightly nerdy swagger to cast Eli as Sheldon's childhood rival from Texas who is better than Sheldon in every way -- including his intelligence.
Record a country album
Can Eli sing? Does it matter? I can name 10 or 15 Billboard chart regulars who would be looking at the backs of four chairs all night if they went on The Voice in disguise. These days it's more about how an artist is packaged and how much people like him. And a LOT of people like Eli Manning right now.
If the New Orleans native and Ole Miss alum has any music dreams, this is the time to crank out a country album. Load it up with features -- Carrie Underwood, The Band Perry, Taylor Swift, Scotty McCreery, etc. -- and let them do the heavy lifting. If Kim from Real Housewives of Atlanta can make music that people actually buy, Eli should at least be able to go gold.
Renew his wedding vows on TV
A few Super Bowl XLVI standouts would've had "Date a Kardashian" appear in this slot had they won MVP -- I'm looking at you, Rob Gronkowski -- but Eli is already married. So what's the next best thing? Show everybody what a great husband you are by sparing no expense to renew the vows with wifey in a TLC mini-series.
Ink a movie deal
Eli hasn't had many made-for-Hollywood hardships in his life -- his father and his older brother became NFL stars before he did -- but the right script and enough sappy music could make his a nice little inspirational biopic.
Who would play Eli on the big screen? Chris Pine (This Means War) would work, and he's already about 6-foot-1, so you wouldn't have to do the Tom Cruise trick and hire short actors to make him look like a tall NFL quarterback. Or if you remember the stockroom basketball episode of The Office, John Krasinski looks like he could handle himself in an athletic role.
Now about a title: Book of Eli is already taken. Manning For All Seasons? Nah, too corny. Let's go one-word, something like Triumphant or Giant.
Infomercial
As soon as Tom Brady's Hail Mary heave at the end of the Super Bowl fell incomplete, aspiring inventors nationwide were on their phones, checking to see if they know somebody who might know somebody who knows Eli Manning. So whatever silly upper-body workout tool you see next on a 2 a.m. infomercial ("The Rock Hammer!") don't be surprised if Eli's grinning face is all over it.
