Lily (Alyson Hannigan) and Marshall (Jason Segel) invite Robyn (Cobie Smulders) and Kevin (Kal Penn) for a Valentine's getaway in Vermont. Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) and Ted (Josh Radnor) discover the last train of the night back to Long Island full of drunk, sloppy, desperate-to-hook-up-with-anything-that-moves people, a.k.a "The Drunk Train."
On Bended Knee
Lily and Marshall have been together 16 years, according to them by not keeping score. Don't ask how; they continue to tell all the times they "haven't" counted. Back in their hotel room, having survived dinner, Kevin takes a knee and proposes. Robyn doesn't say no, but wants to think about it. She later confesses to Marshall and Lily that she found out a few months ago she can't have children and needs to tell Kevin.
All Aboard the Drunk Tank
Ted owes Barney three hours after stealing him away from a sure thing to be his wingman by keeping Quinn (Beckie Newton) occupied. They decide they don't need to play on the train and in three minutes fall asleep. Next time, they try their moves and one woman tears Barney's jacket, another throws her drink on Ted and I'm pretty sure they both get slapped around too. Finally, they realize the key to the drunk train is to "get drunk." So, intoxicated the third time around they pick up some girls, but something is off. It's officially Valentine's Day and Ted is just lonely and Barney may not have to be.
Keeping Score = Stale Mate
Thank God, Marshall and Lily realize they have to be a team and not keep score. Of course, it'll be surprising if this even lasts eight months, when they're awoken at 4am to the sound of a screaming baby and one of them has to get up. Though my heart really aches for Robyn, even though Kevin still wants to marry her as she reveals she can't have children. I understand Robyn's hesitation as she further explains that she never wants kids and she can't take that away from Kevin and owe him the rest of their lives.
Is She the Mother or Isn't She, Damnit!
While in the cab with a skank, Barney suddenly stops the driver. He can't stop thinking about Quinn. Poor Barney; I wonder what will happen when he realizes Quinn is also "Karma" from the strip club he frequents. Meanwhile, Ted meets Robyn on the roof and listens as she cries about Kevin taking back his proposal; they're over. She expresses her fear that no man will ever be able to look past her not wanting kids. That's when Ted tells her he can, because he's in love with her.
Memorable Quotations
"Yeah, that's the problem with E.P.S. -- lack of awareness. That's why I'm organizing a 10k fund run. Of course, many of us will need wheel barrels." -- Barney's Enormous Penis Syndrome failed pick-up line on Quinn.
"I pay for the meal, you handle the deal. That's just good manners." -- Ted's rules of philosophy explained to Quinn.
"You think you're better than me?" -- Every female drunk train Long Islander's response to Ted and Barney.
"Sometimes you realize the journey you've been taking has reached its final stop. So, the question becomes, where do you go next?" -- Ted to his kids before professing his love to Robyn.
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