This week on New Girl, one couple is getting together while another couple is falling apart.
Secret Lovers
Schmidt (Max Greenfield) and Cece (Hannah Simone) are still having secret sex! She totally loves it, yet totally hates that she totally loves it. The gang is so proud that he's having regular sex -- with the same girl, no less -- but he won't tell them who it is. Impressive, considering you know how much he's dying to boast. She keeps saying each time is the last time, but she keeps coming back. Cece has a hardcore Schmidt addiction! Oh, this storyline is gonna be comedy gold.
Sing, Sing a Song
One of Jess' (Zooey Deschanel) students, a chubby boy named Nathaniel, is getting bullied at school. So she sings a song about him in front of the whole class and is actually surprised when a doctored video of it shows up online. She figures out who the bully is and takes her fury out on the kid's science project. Nooo! Don't destroy the robot arm! Not cool, man. But rather than getting in trouble, the principal is super proud of Jess for being a "real teacher now." Gotta love the public school system.
Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Julia (Lizzy Caplan) goes on a business trip to Arizona and sends Nick (Jake Johnson) a cactus. He's convinced she thinks he's an idiot who can't take care of a real plant (which, let's face it, he probably can't). He leaves her a zillion voicemails -- while high -- and she comes home and breaks up with him. Because of the messages, not the cactus. Nick is inconsolable, but Jess tries to console him anyway. By giving him a plant that he will almost certainly kill.
Love is in the Air
All Winston (Lamorne Morris) gets to do this week is help Jess sabotage the robot arm. Will someone give this guy a storyline, please? He's hilarious! Anyway, somehow the central romance in this show went from Jess & Nick to Schmidt & Cece in pretty much the blink of an eye. Good job, crafty writers. Very good job indeed. I only hope that now that Julia's out of the picture (we'll miss you, Lizzy Caplan!), Nick and Jess can get back on track with their undeniable looooove for each other.
Are you loving the Schmidt & Cece romance as much as I am?
Best Lines:
"It was like a river. Did you feel that? Did you feel me sweeping you along with the current of my body? You were like a canoe on my body river. Like you'd ever be seaworthy with those breasts. Boobies."
-- Schmidt to Cece
"Hey Nick! Schmidt slept with the same girl twice in a row! I owe you five dollars!"
-- Jess to Nick
"I'm like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience."
-- Schmidt to Cece
Plants freak me out. I'm way better with babies, actually."
-- Nick to Julia
"My friends! Guess what I just learned! What's inside a pumpkin. Apparently a lot. Who knew."
-- Nick to Jess and Winston at the school science fair
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