Is it just me or is the Suburgatory theme song getting really catchy? I can't get it out of my head right now, but it's a happy little tune. Anyway, this episode was entertaining tonight and it was nice to see both Dallas and Tessa branching out and trying to be more independent. Dallas gets her store opened and Tessa gets a job from Dallas to save up for her own transportation. My favorite line tonight was when Tessa called George a "dick ... tator."
Tessa Wants Wheels
After George is late - very late! -- picking Tessa up from school, Tessa realizes she wants and needs her own wheels. Chatswin doesn't even have decent bus service. Oh, the humanity! Walking by Dallas' crystal store, Tessa notices a help wanted sign and applies. Since she has no experience or real qualifications, Tessa sucks up to Dallas and gets the job by telling her how independent Dallas is now and how much Tessa wants to be like Dallas. Smart girl!
To celebrate the opening of her crystal store (there is a crystal bust of Joy Behar), Dallas decides on a slumber party with her sorority sisters. Dallas makes it clear that her rival sorority sister, Tulsa, isn't invited as she can't stand her.
Of course, Tulsa, crashes the party. Vanessa Williams is fabulous as Tulsa with her overly-dramatic personality and trying to get everyone to feel sorry for her because her husband died five years ago. The sorority sisters all dress in pink sweats at one point, then they are all in tight dresses and glittering jewelry a la Real Housewives. Tulsa and Dallas bicker constantly.
Over ice cream sundaes with Lisa and Malik, Tessa announces she wants to buy a scooter she saw on Craigslist. Oh, by the way, Dalia was just given a motorcycle and motorcycle jacket by her father who is always now giving Dalia gifts because of a case of divorce guilt. Since Dallas is so generous in giving her employee, Tessa, a stack of cash for different reasons such as a "signing bonus" and to get a manicure, Tessa has enough money to buy the scooter.
The Billy Crystal
Dallas is wearing a tiara and sparkly ball gown for her crystal store opening. She holds the "Billy Crystal" crystal which has an image of him inside it. Dallas leaves with George, who she calls her only true friend, as she ditches Tulsa and the other sorority sisters.
George and Dallas pull up in time to see Lisa and Tessa pushing the scooter bike along. Dallas ends up taking Lisa home while George and Tessa walk the bike to the gas station to fill it up. Dalia drives up on her motor bike, then takes off again. At the gas station, George tells Tessa he saw Mr. Wolfe, the school counselor, about Tessa as he was worried. The poem Tessa wrote about not having a mother really worried him, but Tessa tells him that he is all the mother she needs. They ride home on the scooter together.
The Hangover Monkey
When Dalia gets home, Dallas isn't thrilled about her motor bike gift from her father. Dalia just asks her for a "Hangover monkey." WTF? Oh, she means a monkey like the one in the movie, The Hangover. Dallas nixes that and they hug sweetly, but while hugging her mother, Dalia is texting her father asking for the monkey because, "mommy said no."
What did you think of this episode of Suburgatory?
"We're going to sack out in the living room like a bunch of teenagers."-- Dallas
"That is the soul-crushing poetry Tessa wrote."-- Mr. Wolfe to George
"If you'll excuse me, I'll take a menopausal Joy Behar approach and take off to leave my guests in the lurch."-- Dallas