This week has been a battle of the Twits and the nit-wits -- with trashy reality stars having words with primetime heavyweights and exes calling each other out.
Only on Twitter could a vapid E! reality diva have any type of contact whatsoever with the star of one of the most intelligent series on TV. But that's exactly what happened after Don Draper himself (Hamm) told Elle UK that he thinks Kim Kardashian is a "f___ing idiot."
Kim took to Twitter the following Monday, writing: "We're all working hard, and we all have to respect one another. Calling someone who runs their own businesses, is a part of a successful TV show, produces, writes, designs, and creates, 'stupid,' is in my opinion careless." Hamm has finally -- sort of -- apologized, stating: "I don't know Ms. Kardashian, I know her public persona. What I said was meant to be more on pervasiveness of something in our culture, not personal, but she took offense to it and that is her right."
Hmm, with a non-apology like that, it's hard to tell who should make the next move. Should Kim get cattier? Will Jon get snarkier? Will they make up by producing beautiful offspring? (Think about it.)
Jon's certainly got more to lose by even being associated with the queen of vapid television. But if Kim's being even remotely articulate (even via Twitter) to one of Hollywood's most cerebral stars, then good on her! Maybe this is all an elaborate PR effort to roll out a new, brainier Kim.
Rihanna vs. Karreuche Tran
From physical violence to public racism, the saga of Rihanna and Chris Brown hasn't been a particularly flattering one. On March 3, Rihanna posted a picture of a bag of rice cakes wearing glasses and earrings, with the caption "Ima make u my b___h." The Twitterverse took this as a pretty blatant attack on Chris Brown's new half-Vietnamese girlfriend, model Karreuche Tran.
And now the claws are out. Tran, 23, posted to her Facebook "I'm Angeline [sic], you're Jen. C'mon you see where Brad is at," followed by: "let me clear the air, if you have fenty at the end of ya name or your default Is Rihanna. you have a better chance of winning the lottery than ending up on my friends list." Riri has responded with a series of cryptic messages seemingly pointed at Brown (who has wisely steered clear of the drama!), including: "When they see me with you, wonder what the crowd would say? When they find us together, what will all the people say?" And to add insult to injury, Rihanna's fans have begun sending death threats to Tran, who now says she can't leave the house without a security guard.
Twitter is designed for bickering like this, but when you add millions of rabid fans, an ex-convict, and mild race-hate into the equation, you've got a celeb feud of mythological proportions. What's next? Will Rihanna make her move on Chris once and for all? Will Tran contact the ACLU?
We're going to have to side with Tran on this one. Rice cakes? Topless photos? Riri, we thought you were better than this. Maybe set your sights on a guy who's single, and, we don't know, one who hasn't beaten you up? While Tran is getting fame and sympathy out of this feud (and rightly so), our soulful songstress is getting nothing but bad press.
Snooki vs. Emilio Masella
Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi's lawyers have sent cease-and-desist orders to her ex, Emilio Masella. Last week, Masella said of Snooki's pregnancy: "I hope for her sake ... not to be rude or anything ... but I hope she has a miscarriage." (Good job not being rude.)
After lawyers communicated that Masella had thoroughly upset the reality star, he threw back a whole hailstorm of ridiculousness to the press. "If they want to sue me for being my own person that's screwed up," he told TMZ. He added: "I feel like they're trying to scare me for expressing my own opinions ... How can they sue me for stating how I feel? I don't get why they have it out for me," and, "My wish is to sit down and talk with her for five minutes, no cameras, face-to-face, and have a conversation with Nicole, not Snooki. I know she'd fall in love with me again." Right...
Snooki has remained incommunicado with Masella and the press over this. But we know our Snooks, and if Masella has anything more horrifying and/or hilarious to say, we hope she and fiance Jionni let the fury fly!
It's win-win for our girl Snooki -- but this D-list ex has really just let the whole world know what a sleaze bag he really is.
Miley Cyrus vs. The Fans
Back in our day, pop stars used to lose fans over sex, drugs and bad music. But science? Last week Miley Cyrus took to the Internet with some cosmological revelations. "You are all stardust. You couldn't be here if stars hadn't exploded, because the elements (carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, all the things that matter for evolution) weren't created at the beginning of time. They were created in stars." All well and good, right? Wrong. The formerly outspoken Christian added: "So forget Jesus. Stars died so you can live."
No surprises here -- Cyrus faced some serious backlash from her religious fans. Though she had tweeted a picture of theoretical physicist Lawrence Krauss, implying that she was more pro-science than anti-religion, responses to her geek-out included, "Go to hell" (not very Christian!). But instead of backing down, Cyrus continued with the immortal words of Einstein, tweeting: "How can people take the love out of science and bring hate into religion so easily? It makes me sad to think the world is this way. Like Einstein says 'Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.'"
It doesn't look like Miley's going to be getting back to her Evangelical roots any time soon. So religious fans may have to part ways with her as she joins the ranks of other secular, science-forward celebs like Natalie Portman and Billy Joel.
Miley may have much to lose by cutting off a chunk of her fan base. But can you blame her? Have you seen those Neil deGrasse Tyson videos? We've got to give props to Miley for making science cool again.