SkimIt
As the Republicans headed south for the primaries, hosts Jon Stewart of The Daily Show and Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report examined wrongdoings across the board, venting their frustrations about everyone from political pundits to large, furry mammals.
Southern Bells and Whistles
With primaries in the southern states, the Republican candidates did their best to make an impression. While both Stewart and Colbert mocked the candidates for trying to pass as Southerners by association by guzzling bowls of grits and saying "y'all," Colbert praised their ability to break down issues into simple terms, avoiding President Obama's "SAT words."
The Fox and the Elephant
The redneck comedian Jeff Foxworthy threw his support behind Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney and Stewart and Colbert riffed on Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck... " bit. Stewart gave examples of displays of excessive wealth that may make you a Romney, while Colbert suggested a coup -- how throwing his support behind Romney meant Foxworthy might not be a redneck anymore.
Persons of Disinterest
Both men went after their own list of villains. Stewart rallied the audience against the media for trying to discredit the impact of the Kony viral video as a "been there, done that," and clogging their political coverage with theatrics. Colbert took a stab at Pat Robertson of The 700 Club after he switched personalities and endorsed marijuana, the cast of the new Bravo reality show Shahs of Sunset and, of course, bears -- the "godless killing machines."
Crime and Comedy Punishment
Current events beyond the presidential race had the hosts appalled. Stewart could not believe the proposed renaming of a pond in New Hampshire called "Jew Pond," and homeless men and women working as human WiFi hot spots. Colbert took on a former Goldman Sachs employee for showboating his skills in an op-ed expose in the New York Times and the elderly, whom he called "geriatric jihadists" for possibly no longer having to remove their shoes or light coats for TSA inspection.
As the GOP moves on to primaries in Illinois and Florida, Stewart's and Colbert's undeniable shock at the actions of the Republican candidates remains their common thread. This strange alliance can only lead us to wonder what on earth would happen if one of these guys won?
Remotes
America's Problem With UNESCO-Pt. 1
America's Problem With UNESCO-Pt. 2
The United States pulls funding for UNESCO after it recognizes Palestine. Correspondent John Oliver plays the blame game and turns the tables on this humanitarian organization.
Best Back 'n Forth
March 12, 2012 -- Grover Norquist, founder of Americans for Tax Reform makes his entrance to discuss his pledge.
John Stewart: "The evil Grover Norquist."
Grover Norquist: "Sweetie pie."
March 13, 2012 -- Musician Andrew Bird arrives to promote his new album and discuss his more than a decade long rise to fame.
Stephen Colbert: "You're like a rag soaked with gasoline and tonight, boom! I am going to drop a match on it called the Colbert bomb! Are you ready to be super famous?!"
Andrew Bird: "Yeah, I think I can handle the burden."
March 14, 2012 -- Actress Rachel Weisz arrives to discuss her new film Deep Blue Sea and its action thriller predecessor.
John Stewart: "There is another film, you may not be aware of this, called Deep Blue Sea."
Rachel Weisz: "With sharks."
Stewart: "What if we had introduced a giant LL Cool J-eating shark into this film?"
Weisz: "More people would go see it."
March 14, 2012 -- Kermit the Frog tries to promote his movie's release on DVD and Blu-ray, but is pushed to share his political affiliation.
Stephen Colbert: "You may be a movie star now, but you started out as a news man, interviewing Humpty Dumpty, Pinocchio, covering the pig housing crisis. You have more journalistic experience than Bill O'Reilly."
Kermit the Frog: "I am not gonna touch that. I'm definitely not going to touch that."
March 14, 2012 -- Mark McKinnon of No Labels discusses reforming Congress.
Mark McKinnon: "The reality is that 500,000 people have joined this grassroots movement and there's strong Republicans, there's strong Democrats and there's strong Independents, and they have put together a 12-step program to reform Congress."
Stephen Colbert: "Like AA?"
McKinnon: "A lot of similarities."
Colbert: "What, do they hand themselves over to a higher power?"
McKinnon: "Exactly."
Colbert: "Is that you?"
