SkimIt
Forget Botoxed housewives, ex-TV stars and washed-up rockers; the really juicy drama most often comes from ESPN. Here are four pro athletes who would rule the airwaves in their own reality shows: Jose Canseco
This retired MLB all-star is known for a myriad of things: his powerful swing, off-field antics and admittedly unashamed steroid use (which led to his banishment from the Mexican League in March). In the years since his major-league tenure, he has even made the rounds on reality television, jumping from Stripper's Ball to The Surreal Life and Celebrity Apprentice. All this is great. But then, someone sat the guy down on a computer to get a Twitter account and the Earth trembled under the weight of the majesty that soon followed. Following Jose Canseco (@josecanseco) on Twitter is akin to getting locked into a Salvador Dali museum -- reality crumbles around you and all that was once sacred becomes both infantile and strangely beautiful; absurdity reigns.
The world Canseco has created could never be sustained in actuality, but if someone came along with enough money and a few video cameras, we would have the best show in the history of television. The entire first season is written on his Twitter feed already: after a feud with Shaq, he spent an entire week tweeting an MMA challenge in his direction. He tweeted his disappointment at not being invited to Fenway Park's 100-year anniversary, then quickly postulated they must not have his new address. And the crowing achievement which would make for reality television even I would want to watch came when he tweeted his sorrow over Al Gore's death. The next day, he realized Al Gore was very much alive, and decided to go on a week-long stint teaching us "clowns" about global warming. Now, if some franchise would just sign the guy if only for the great television that would follow, us clowns would be all the better. He's even got the first episode written.
Jose Canseco (Getty)
