On the Season 5 Premiere of The Secret Life of the American Teenager, things picked up right where they left off -- thorny, complicated and elope-y.
Elope With Me
We begin with Amy (Shailene Woodley) and Ricky (Daren Kagasoff) exiting a chapel, having just tied the knot. They make their way over to a hotel, where, amidst Amy's jokingly pretending that Ricky is a college grad, they get hooked up with -- wait for it -- the honeymoon suite. The tenderness between the couple is evident when Amy tells Ricky that "tonight is our night." The image of them drinking milk they've ordered from room service is pretty funny (Ricky didn't want to get carded), but the milk is one-upped when the hotel sends them complementary bubbly.
Guilt: The Most Powerful Emotion
Ben (Kenny Baumann) is still feeling guilty about his potential involvement in burning Dylan's (Ana Lucasey) school down with the bunson burner, and says as much to Dylan on the phone. Leo (Steve Schirripa) overhears this, and confronts Ben about it -- but Ben denies having any involvement in the fire. When Ben meets up with Dylan later on, he tells her that the guilt over having to lie to his dad -- on top of everything else -- is really eating at him. Dylan casually tells Ben that everything will be fine, which leads to Ben telling Dylan that he doesn't think they're a good match. However, Ben retracts this decision once Dylan reminds Ben that her father could possibly implicate him in the fire.
How Soon Is Too Soon?
Ashley (India Eisley) is, unsurprisingly, the coolest character on the show -- when Toby (Jared Kusnitz) expresses concern to her that her dad, George (Mark Derwin) might catch him in her bed, she isn't ruffled in the slightest. Nor is she when Nora (Anne Ramsay) walks in on the two of them together. George does eventually walk into Ashley's room while she and Toby are sleeping, and freaks out. Ashley just tells Toby to go back to sleep. Instead, Toby seeks out George and tries to reassure him, telling George that he and Ashley are practicing safe sex.
Down In The Double-Dumps
Things are just not going too well for Adrian (Francia Raisa) -- first she gets dumped by Omar (DeVaughn Nixon), then she finds out, to her consternation, that summer school graduates don't get a proper graduation ceremony. Her frustrations are only exacerbated when Grace (Megan Park) drops by to tell her that she doesn't think they should be friends anymore -- the kiss they shared last season just made Grace too uncomfortable. Adrian does not take the news of losing her best friend well at all.
Well, Secret Life didn't take much time at all in throwing us back into the day-to-day tragedies of adolescent life. Will Grace and Adrian patch things up? Does everyone agree that Ashley is just too cool? And how do we think the fifth season will stack up?
"He's like a dog -- he can only focus on one thing at a time."
-- Ashley, on her dad's attention span.
"I don't know, they live in a shack above a meat store, maybe they wanted to get away!"
-- George, on where Amy and Ricky may have gone.
"Carry on. Or, don't carry on."
-- Nora, after seeing Ashley in bed with Toby.
"I didn't want to get carded over a bottle of champagne."
-- Ricky, on his decision to order milk from room service.
"God as my witness, I'll never have sex again!"
-- Grace, to herself.