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Up Late Peep Show: Top Talkers Best Moments This Week
This week's late night talk show highlights:
The Late Show with David Letterman
Adam Sandler (6/13)
Degrading
There is no excuse for anything the star of That's My Boy does any longer except for raw, malevolent greed and a purely bitter hatred toward the movie-going public. Reaction to his atrocities has gone from "I'll just wait for it on DVD" to "Maybe I should a write a letter in protest to the studio" to "Please rub lye in my eyes and pierce my eardrums with steel rods so that I may never look upon or hear his like again."
Mark Wahlberg (6/11)
Stupid youth makes good
Marky Mark got grilled by Dave about his juvie time while his brother Donnie and New Kids on the Block were making major scratch. Everything turned out okay in the end, however. Marky is a major Hollywood star. His latest, Ted, is Seth MacFarlane's big screen directorial debut. It's about a guy who resurrects his childhood teddy bear as a companion. Now Wahlberg will understand what his costars have been going through for years -- acting opposite an anthropomorphic, often inanimate object with no human soul.
Patti Smith (6/12)
Still kickin'
The punk rock goddess performs the title track from her new album Banga. There was a time, kids, when rock-and-roll had an edge and performers like this stalked the musical landscape with hunger and purpose in their eyes. Then it all went to video. And, as you can see, Patti's got a face for radio. Moreover, has she morphed into Howard Stern's female doppelganger?
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
Maggie Gyllenhaal (6/12)
Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine
The Hysteria star was on to plug her new movie and her new baby girl conceived with Peter Sarsgaard (way too many vowels for one family). Turns out, the kid was named after the Patti Smith cover of Gloria. Just a reminder, when naming your daughter after the titular character in a song, make sure there is no reference to "humpin' on the parking meter" in it.
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
Meghan McCain (6/12)
OMG, politics, LOL!Daily Beast blogger, MSNBC contributor, daughter of doddering old fool John McCain, and author of the new book America, You Sexy Bitch is the absolute poster child for the ills in our contemporary nepotistic media. We should cut her some slack, though. She's pro-grass, pro-gay, and pro-birth control. That will get you a witch trial dunking in today's Republican Party. Do you ever wonder how many times, whilst teenage girls, she and Liz Cheney screamed, "Dad, you're such a fascist!"
The Dallas cast (6/12)
Those who forget history ...
Has no one learned anything from Mary Shelley's Frankenstein? Some things are just better left buried. Or else the hastily-sutured and reanimated rotting flesh rises up in twisted vengeance to wreak havoc on the living. This is indeed an abomination. Shall we all gather pitchforks and torches and amass at the TNT studios to rid our village of this ungodly monstrosity?
