Four more acts are poised to join our eight semifinalists on America's Got Talent, and we've got exciting performances on tap from Ashleigh and Pudsey and DJ Havana Brown. Ashleigh and her pooch recently won Britain's Got Talent, which explains why I have no idea who they are. And Havana Brown is a "DJ sensation," which explains why I have no idea who she is. Good thing I keep an open mind.
Nerves seriously got to some acts in the last episode, but a few others stood out. I think we might be in for at least one surprise. All the performers are gathered, in full costume, backstage. Despite the high drama, only a handful have anything to worry about. Still glad the other acts put forth the effort to look good though. Let's get started!
The First Cuts are the Shallowest
Howie plugs his Twitter again during the judge introductions, and seriously, we get it, Howie, celebrities are on Twitter. Haven't heard Howard mention his once yet. First out are Rock Star Juggler Mike Price, balance guy Cristin Sandu and awkward comedian Jacob Williams. Considering Price and Sandu both screwed up, this should be the easiest call of the season. And it is, with Jacob Williams heading to the top 16.
The Best the UK has to Offer!
Britain's Got Talent, and its name is Ashleigh and Pudsey. It's good they're allowed to be talented together, because I don't know if either could hack it on their own. I have no idea what could make this act worth a million dollars or a million pounds or whatever they give out over there, but it surely has to be astounding.
But first, we get a day in the life of America's Got Talent, which basically consists of a minute of watching the contestants rehearse before we focus on the crew and the judges. On the bight side, Nick hates rehearsals and shows up severely dressed down in a gray sweatsuit, tilted red baseball cap and red sneakers. He's so gangsta. Howie still cares way too much about his hat. It's amazing how many people go into getting a show like this on the air.
Howie is now wearing a sombrero, which might distract from 17-year-old Ashleigh and 6-year-old Pudsey. They dance, they spin, Pudsey walks on a rolling-on-the-ground Ashleigh, Pudsey jumps and walks on two paws. It's adorable and great, and that's one talented dog, but how the hell did this act WIN Britain's Got Talent? Who came in second, the waterskiing squirrel?
The Second Cut: Another Easy Call
Before we get another elimination, we first have to check in on The Orville Lounge! The Untouchable apparently aren't old enough to eat the pre-packaged popcorn, and Lightwire Theater uses their elaborate costumes to dump it in each others' mouths. Again, I'm just glad we don't have to watch a whole commercial about it. They even make the secretly depressed performers who screwed up on stage pretend to be happy. THAT'S WHAT'S POPPING!
Next out is Lightwire Theater, Inspire the Fire and All Beef Patty. Another easy call, as Inspire the Fire faltered, All Beef Patty left the hard work to her man candy and all three judges proclaimed Lightwire Theater to be a million-dollar act. Also, the final act to perform has moved on in all three shows, and that's not coincidental. And of course, Lightwire Theater is moving on.
Another Quick Elimination
No time to waste here, as we've only got a half hour of filler left, so on to the next round of cuts! Elusive, the Untouchables and Jake Wesley Rogers are headed to the stage. Finally, one that could go a couple of ways. I think 15-year-old Jake Wesley Rogers is the odd one out and destined for American Idol, but either the Untouchables or Elusive could be advancing. The kids probably deserve it more though. After a solid 30 seconds of anxiety-creating silence from Nick Cannon (and yes, I counted), it's the Untouchables! Your parents are so happy, because you're keeping their dreams alive! Here's to living vicariously!
DJ 'Sensation' Havana Brown
She's a triple threat -- a DJ, a singer AND a dancer. And she really, REALLY wants the audience to put their hands up. Not my type of music at all (even though I watch Jersey Shore), but she's hot, she's Australian and she apparently likes to party all night. I could see her really hitting it off with Pauly D. She talks into her microphone after her performance, and no sound comes out. So either they killed her mic or she was lip-synching. I'm leaning towards the former, because we could hear her when she tried to get my hands up. Either way, it's a bit awkward.
The Final Cut: Judges' Choice
It's down to Wordspit! The Illest, All Wheel Sports and Spencer Horsman. I was never sold on Spencer, who really came up short with his silhouetted non-dramatic escape Tuesday. He tries to convince us that he barely made it out and the door short-circuited early, so America has NO IDEA how close he came to getting impaled, but he's still the first cut.
Howard really pushed for Wordspit! The Illest, while Sharon and Howie panned them, so this could be interesting. I thought All Wheel Sports was deserving, but the performance was too busy and I predicted any other quality act would push them out of the top four. That said, I didn't find Wordspit's performance memorable enough. Didn't have as much a problem with it being an original song like Sharon and Howie did, but I didn't think it was catchy enough.
All Wheel Sports gives a very rehearsed plea to stay, while Wordspit's is more passionate and also tosses a barb at Howie's "You're not playing the game" comment. That gets a huge smile from Howard, but they had his vote anyway. Howie goes with All Wheel Sports, so it's up to Sharon. She's also putting through All Wheel Sports, and that's that.
Next week looks to be action packed, with the a couple bendy chick acts, a mind reader, a human cannonball, a dog act, the giant harp guy, the sand and light painter, Eric and Olivia, the Mariachi kid, a clogging group and Horse the Nutcracker. Man, they really should've split a lot of these up. Oh well, at least we know Ulysses is going home. Tune in next week!