This week's late night talk show highlights:
Kyra Sedgwick (7/18)
The scoop on the poop
The Emmy and Golden Globe winning star of The Closer still looks fabulous but is getting on in years. Her reminiscences about pre-pooper scooper New York City and how she misses the lewdness of construction workers is telling. She's probably even old enough to remember when you could smoke on an airplane and had to change the TV channel by a knob! Oh, the mystical, bygone charms of yesteryear.
Roseanne Barr (7/17)
Absence makes the heart grow tolerant
When did Roseanne Barr get funny?! At the height of her fame, all through the 1980s and '90s, she was as knee-slapping as a stage IV lymphoma victim with a sore knee. Now, after essentially removing herself from public life, she comes off as endearing and delightful. She's doing gags about drones and weed and daring Obama to kill her. Where was this charming matriarch shtick two decades ago? Lost somewhere amongst the trailer park and white trash promotional jokes, no doubt.
Dang those quacks that saved my life
Leave it to the melon squisher to talk about his massive heart attack and have a prop joke at the ready. This is the guy so pure of comedic vision and integrity that he franchised his act to his brother in order to keep the state fair tent enthusiasts and townies separated from their Saturday night foldin' money. He's a little batty. The man has, metaphorically, fallen off his big bouncy couch. Conservatism can do that to an idiot.