Guys. I just found out about this really cool thing where you can overhear everything celebrities think about Kristen Stewart's scandal or Lady Gaga's acting debut. You're basically always around them, it's awesome! This thing is called "stalking", and now I have several restraining orders against me. Anyways, here's your CelebriTweets.
"I'd like to apologize to my wife for caring about the Kristen Stewart scandal. I feel so stupid. I didn't mean to hurt you @ChristaBMiller."
"9 days and counting... so help me god I will make whoever did this pay"Isn't letting 14-year-olds have Twitter accounts such an awesome idea?
Lady Gaga will be appearing on the silver screen soon.
"Yes its true, I will be making my debut as an actress in the amazing MACHETE KILLS BY @RODRIGUEZ IM SO EXCITED!!! AH! Filming was insane."Hopefully she'll be able to match Madonna's performance in Evita.
Can we just cancel this whole "democracy" thing America's been trying and declare Conan O'Brien our National Philosopher King Forever?
"It's hard to believe that the greatest division in American politics these days is "pro-" or "anti-Chick-fil-A.""
Between touring with his band Snow Patrol and guest-starring in Game of Thrones, it wouldn't be surprising if Gary Lightbody competed in the Olympics.
"Just beat Usain Bolt in a ham sandwich eating contest. Bodes well for my Olympic prospects."
That's it for this week's CelebriTweets. Between Gaga's acting, K-Stew's cheating and Lightfoot's eating, which event do you care about least? Comment and let us know!You can follow Daniel Mikelonis on Twitter.