This week's current events saw hosts Jon Stewart of The Daily Show and Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report united in their support for NASA and somewhat divided on the age old question, "Erect, or not erect?"
Nice Guys Finish First, This Week
The rover landed on Mars on Monday, August 6 and both hosts wanted to celebrate this major accomplishment by American scientists. Stewart hung on with bated breath following the landing of the rover while Colbert declared, "We Mars'd it!" They both, also, pointed out that these super smart supernerds look like they all work at Best Buy for their after-NASA gig.
U.S. Olympic rower Henrik Rummel denied he had an erection while receiving the bronze medal. While Stewart blamed the games for a dip in viewers, he called in Correspondent Al Madrigal to examine this case thoroughly. They concluded he appeared erect, but wondered why third place would prompt such a response. Colbert commended Rummel as the only true American at the game, emphasizing the nation's lack of patriotism surrounding the games.
Deep Fried Debate
Chick-Fil-A experienced record sales after announcing their opposition to same-sex marriage while people on both sides of the issue posted pics and video of their actions. Stewart mocked how social media postings fall into the category of despicable fast food pranks, devaluing their message. Colbert commended the fast food chain for the brilliant business move. Both hosts drew attention to Michael Leisner, a man who sought to take down cereal giant General Mills for supporting same-sex marriage by attempting to burn a box of Cheerios.
There's Something About Romney
The presidential hopeful was examined by both sides this week. Stewart took aim at his shady dealings in Italy and the Obama campaign ad suggesting Romney's actions led to a woman's cancer and death. Colbert speculated over who would become Romney's running mate and shed light on a cause Romney can get behind -- how Obamacare would increase the cost of Papa John's pizza.
Both hosts explained this week what it means to be an American and what it means to completely blow it while the world is watching. Here's to NASA, the clear winner this week.
Daily Show Correspondent Jason Jones sits down with former NSA spy Thomas Drake.
Colbert talks with Keith Ellison to find out why he scares Congresswoman Michele Bachmann.
Daily Show Correspondent Jason Jones covers the 2012 Redneck "Blank".
Best Back 'n Forth
August 6, 2012 -- Fashion expert Tim Gunn explained what puts the "real" in Project Runway to Stewart.
Jon Stewart: "Didn't you fake Heidi Klum?"
Tim Gunn: "Heidi's impossible to fake."
Stewart: "You sure? That's... OK?"
Gunn: "She's breathtaking, isn't she?"
Stewart: "Just a little bit, yeah!"
Gunn: "I'm a very lucky guy, Jon."
Stewart: "I would put her on a magazine."
August 8, 2012 -- Actor and comedian Chris Rock is commended by Stewart for his acting in the upcoming film 2 Days In New York.
Jon Stewart: "That's real f______ acting you were doing. That's real acting."
Chris Rock: "I'm trying, man. I'm trying to get some work, Jon. I want some good parts, Jon. I wanna be like Denzel and land that plane upside down."
Stewart: "Let's not get outta hand."
Rock: "Let's not get outta hand."
August 8, 2012 -- Journalist Liza Mundy explains the differences in the workforce between men and women to Colbert.
Stephen Colbert: "But men also go into, like, super high-powered jobs, Wall Street jobs, that kind of stuff. Women tend to, and I don't mean this as an insult, tend to take jobs that help people, you know, and men don't go for those as much especially after women take those jobs. Because women kind of ghetto-ize the job."
Liza Mundy: "Right, right. That's called gender pollution."
Colbert: "Gender pollution?"
Mundy: "Economists have a word for it, gender pollution."
Colbert: "Gender pollution. So the ladies gender pollute the jobs where you're nice in your job and then it forces all the men to go to Wall Street where you are professionally sh____ to people."
Mundy: "Yes. Yes, that's the case."
August 9, 2012 -- Joanna Brooks, author of The Book of Mormon Girl, discusses what happens when a Mormon drinks the forbidden Coca-Cola with Stewart.
Joanna Brooks: "I became a liberal at Brigham Young University."
Jon Stewart: "Wow. How'd that go?"
Brooks: "It's true. It happened."
Stewart: "So that's someone who has Diet Coke? That is the way that things work out?"
Brooks: "A Mormon liberal is someone who drinks Diet Coke, yes."
August 9, 2012 -- Colbert warmly welcomes back actor, director and writer Woody Harrelson.
Stephen Colbert: "Good to see you again, my friend. What's going on?"
Woody Harrelson: "It's good to see you, sir. I mean, the last time was a wonderful experience."
Colbert: "We had a wonderful time. We sang the national anthem... I shaved your head... "
Harrelson: "You shaved my head and you didn't have to do much shaving so that was strange."
Colbert: "What are we shaving tonight and how big of a job is it?"