Are you the chosen one -- no wait, are you? That Lilith is one finicky lady; she's got the authority turned upside by leading them all to the slaughter, even if that means killing each other. We're only one episode away from the finale and all the pawns are in place.
This Means War
For a thousand year-old bureaucracy, the authority tends to make some hasty decisions when it comes to waging war with human kind. After killing off their only ally, a high-ranking general, they quickly learn that the military was always prepared for vampires to turn on humans. But they've got more double-crossing to worry about within their own ranks, with a reconciled Nora (Lucy Griffiths) and Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) plotting their escape. What wonders a little common sense and makeup sex can work.
Respect Your Elders
We get to meet the oldest fairy elder when Sookie (Anna Paquin) seeks her out for answers about her family's past and the vampire Warlow she's promised to. Besides her terrible taste in music, impressive interpretive dance moves and A.D.D., she doesn't impart much wisdom, but does hint at Sookie's fang-banging motivations. When the elder fairy learns that Russell Edgington (Denis O'Hare) is gunning for them, they decide to fight back.
Pam's Paternal Pangs
In a case of maker role-reversal, Bill's (Stephen Moyer) sadistic streak continues and Pam (strong>Kristin Bauer van Straten) becomes the charming caregiver of Fangtasia, the new half-way house for wayward baby vamps. With Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) and Tara (Rutina Wesley) in her care, Pam takes the wrap for killing off the last sheriff and ends up at the authority, wearing her new martyrdom like a perfect pair of pumps.
A Fairy Feast
Bon Temps' newest gay power-couple seek out Sookie and the rest of her light-wielding friends to get blood-drunk and walk in the sun. After tracking down the fairy funhouse, Russell ends up draining the elder and gaining access to their world, spelling disaster for the rest of their kind. Ah Ke$ha-loving fairy elder, I don't miss you already.
We leave things with pretty much everybody stuck in a cell at the Authority, Jason (Ryan Kwanten) possibly in a coma and Bill killing off his fellow chancellors, since there can only be one chosen one. My oh my, has this show gone totally bonkers or what?
Best Lines
"Ke$ha, for or against? John Cougar Mellencamp, for or against?"
--Fairy Elder to Sookie during their first meeting.
"There's a reason you find vampires so irresistible, you slut your heart out to every cute guy with fangs."
--Fairy Elder to Sookie.
"You never know when some Iraqi ghost is going to curse your entire family."
--Arlene giving advice to Andy.
"A maker always knows when her progeny dies. He was only one of 204, but it's still like a cold stake in the heart."
--Chancellor Rosalyn questions Tara about the sheriff.
Heaven, thy name is fairy."
--Russell after draining the fairy elder.
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