On this week’s episode of Don’t Trust the B in Apt 23 “Bar Lies…,” Things go horribly awry when James Van Der Beek dukes it out on the ballroom dance floor with nemesis Dean Cain during the premiere of Dancing With the Stars. While James is in Los Angeles, Chloe (Krysten Ritter) uses his penthouse to run one of her infamous scams. June’s (Dreama Walker’s) own belief system is put to the test when she attempts to teach Chloe about the importance of being honest. Dean Cain and Dancing with the Stars Pro Dancer Karina Smirnoff guest star as themselves.
Chloe is Katie Holmes’ Cousin?
It's James' last night in town before he leaves for Los Angeles, so naturally there's a big going away party. The Beek assures everyone that he and his partner Valentina (Shanti Lowry) will be victorious on Dancing With the Stars. June talks to her mother Connie (Eve Gordon) on the phone about her upcoming plans to visit New York to watch the premiere of DWTS. James steals the phone so he can talk to his dance guru, without who he would be lost. That's when June finds Chloe lying to the bartender in order to get free drinks. She tells her that she's going to have her mother teach her about the importance of being honest as her family is a descendant of honest Abe Lincoln. As a going away present, James sets Chloe’s favorite bar lie in motion – convincing the bartender that she is Katie Holmes’ cousin, Jocelyn Holmes.
The next day Chloe calls June at work and tells her to meet her at a bar where she’s getting free drinks thanks to her latest lie. June offers to come bail her out because it’s her obligation as an honest Colburn. After arriving at the bar to cut Chloe loose from getting caught in a lie, June receives a phone call from her mother. She tells June she won't be coming to New York after all because her father is sick.
Second is Just First Loser
In Los Angeles, as James prepares to tour the set of Dancing With the Stars, he realizes he forgot to leave a check for his maid. He calls June and asks her to stop by his penthouse to write a check out. June tells him she won’t let him down. He thanks her saying he knew he could count on her because he obviously can’t trust Chloe to do it.
June arrives at James’ penthouse to find Chloe running one of her infamous scams. In this case, Chloe is playing the part of a realtor and renting James’ penthouse – something she always does when he’s away for extended periods of times. June tells Chloe that she needs to tell James the truth and Chloe convinces her that omission is not the same as lying. Besides James needs to focus on Dancing With the Stars.
At rehearsal, James and Valentina take to the dance floor completely owning their routine as nemesis Dean Cain and partner Karina Smirnoff watch from afar. Karina tells Dean they could always place second and he storms off the set saying that “second is just the first loser.”
Lies My Mother Told Me
Just as June begins to feel guilty about omitting the truth from James, Chloe texts her to tell her she was right. June goes to meet her at James' penthouse only to find she did in fact rent the place to a family from Minnesota. She also set up a surprise olive oil tasting for June to thank her for not telling James the truth.
Later that day, June video chats with her mom and begins to confess everything. That's when James pops up furious that his place is being sublet. June realizes that Connie is in Los Angeles; James asked her to be in the live studio audience at DWTS. Her own mother lied to her – and that's not all. She's also lied to her about various things throughout her life.
Fed up with honesty, June starts lying just like everyone else. Chloe finds her in a terrible bar lie and tells her that those lies are supposed to be fun and flirty. There is a difference between those lies and the total betrayal of trust that her mother gave her. June eventually gets Chloe to admit that she took advantage of James and actually does have a conscious when it comes to people she cares about.
Are My Hands Made Out of Pound Cake?
Back in Los Angeles, James is nervous about the competition and Chloe subletting his apartment. He freaks out saying he needs to go back home. Luther (Ray Ford) tries to calm him down and Connie gives him a cup of tea to help get his head right. When it's finally time to hit the dance floor, he falls and has a complete breakdown. That's when Connie and Luther realize the tea was drugged. As producers cut to commercial, Chloe and June call James. While Chloe lies and tells him it wasn't so bad, June tells him it's terrible and his whole career is over.
What did you think of this week's episode of Don't Trust the B in Apt 23? Will James recover from his Dancing With the Stars mishap or will Dean Cain prevail? Was there a particular bar lie that you found amusing? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
“Is that my favorite MILTTT? Mother I’d Like To Talk To.” - James
“So yeah, Katie Holmes and I are only cousins, but we’re as flirty as sisters.” – Chloe
“Warm tea is like a hug for your insides.” – Connie