Love in the time of dental surgery and a demoted former super-salesman hiding his shame from his family, are the twin themes of tonight's very silly but thoroughly entertaining episode of Suburgatory.
Tessa Chooses Having Her Wisdom Teeth Pulled Rather Than Doing an Oral Report
In a rather uncharacteristic decision, Tessa (Jane Levy), who usually prides herself on being a scholar and a fan of strong women in history, decides that having her wisdom teeth pulled is better than doing a report on Eleanor of Aquitaine (the mother of Richard the Lionheart and in her own right queen to Henry II – as depicted by Katherine Hepburn in the 1968 classic movie, The Lion in Winter). The medication she takes to ease the pain of having all four wisdom teeth pulled, however, leaves her paranoid and delusional, to the point of believing that aliens have landed - and are coming for the rest of her teeth.
Fred's Basement Confession
George (Jeremy Sisto) thinks he has a rodent in the basement, but instead of a rat finds Fred (Chris Parnell). It turns out his neighbor is hiding out from his wife, Sheila (Ana Gasteyer), who thinks he's away on a sales trip. Fred admits to George that he is no longer a top salesman, having taken a position as junior secretary to prevent being fired. As for the tinfoil crown and lead apron he is wearing, Fred explains it is to keep Sheila from reading his mind and connecting with his heart, lest she learn the shameful truth of his downfall.
This Suburgatory subterfuge continues throughout the episode, with Tessa in her drug haze believing the weirdly bedecked Fred is an alien, and George having to steal a gift basket Fred's office has sent to the Shay’s house to mark "Junior Secretary's Day." Sheila knows something is up, but George puts her off the scent by telling her he has a rat in his cellar - to which her answer is a can of Australian-made anti-rodent poison gas marked "G'die, Mate." Why a gas bomb instead of the "humane trap" George tells her he will set, because, as Sheila scoffs: "rats laugh at humane traps."
Dallas Tells George the Time Has Come for "Joint D'ecor"
Dallas (Cheryl Hines) wants to take her relationship with George to the next level, that of "joint d'ecor," which she defines as "where we can leave things at each other's place." She presents him with a photo of the two of them she has had engraved in crystal (she owns the Crystal Emporium gift shop after all). Caught off guard, George mumbles something about how he has been thinking of leaving a favorite washcloth at her place.
Ryan to the Rescue
Ryan (Parker Young) still hasn't forgotten the holiday kiss he had with Tessa, and brings over her homework, mostly as an excuse to see her. Remembering his own dental pain from a sports injury, he makes her a special ice pack out of athletic socks - which he ties together above her head like rabbit ears. Tessa tries to tell him that they are not right for each other, but Ryan convinces her otherwise. As he explains "I make you smile even when it hurts to smile - and maybe that means something."
"Wouldn't that be like amputating your arm so you don't break it one day?" – Tessa
"Just because we're sub-secretaries doesn't mean we're sub-human." – Sub-Secretary Greta
"I get coffee for the lady who gets the coffee!" – Fred