Is journalism dead? That’s one of the questions addressed in this week’s episode as the Portland Tribune is taken over by a popular local blog.
Portlandia starring Fred Armisen and Carrie Bronstein airs on IFC Fridays at 9:00 pm ET.
Let’s Jump On The Banned Wagon
The mayor of Portland is out taking his morning walk and has a brainstorm, which of course means that he needs to tell Fred
and Carrie as soon as possible. Somehow the fact that he wakes them up in their bedroom isn’t the weirdest thing about the scene. It’s that Carrie and Fred are in side-by-side single beds, Rob and Laura Petrie style. The mayor wants to get ahead of rival Seattle when it comes to banning things and they come up with the idea of an interactive “banning” wagon that carries all the items Portland has already banned. Even better, citizens could add items they believe should be banned in the future. What could possibly go wrong with this idea? But before we get a chance to find out, reporter George Healey (George Wendt) from the Portland Tribune calls to inform the mayor he has been designated as the number one electricity hog in the city.
We’re Not Going To Rock This House
Since Portland is such a laid-back city, it makes sense that when musicians compete for prizes in the park, it’s at the Battle Of The Gentle Bands. There are lots of accordions, banjos and acoustic instruments and band names such as Featherwash and Bless the Band. The contest is won by Franny Whisp, which consists of a girl blowing feathers tied to a stick. Then it’s this week’s advisory from Alicia at the Portland Milk Advisory Board. She’s retracting last week’s suggestion to drink cashew milk. It turns out that the milk is made in Nigeria, which is in the midst of some contentious rebellion. Instead she suggests drinking radish milk, which looks suspiciously like a few radishes that have been dipped into a jug of water.
Welcome To the New Face of Journalism
The Portland Tribune is being sold by its publisher to Linx PDX, “a very successful blog.” The staff is assured that nothing will change, but the new owners are not exactly onboard with the whole journalism idea. They tell George Healey his story on the mayor’s energy use is boring and wouldn’t get very good comments in the message thread. They tell him he’s not a journalist, but a “linkilist.” “I have an idea for you,” he’s told. “How about a feature on stars with no makeup?” Back in the mayor’s house, he can’t figure out how he could be an energy hog. He rarely uses the air conditioning and his razor is a wind-up version. It turns out that he has a printer that has been running for ten years and as he later explains in a press conference, “I didn’t realize you could interrupt the printing que simply by turning the machine on and off.” Exasperated, he throws the printer in the river which leads to accusations that he’s polluting the river.
You Don’t Want to Run the Danger of Having a B&B That’s Too Comfortable
Nance and Peter get a visit from the Portland Bed and Breakfast Bureau. She suggest things like giving the stairs a bit more squeak or adding a slightly musty smell to the rooms. Then it’s three weeks later and Fred and Carrie visit the mayor at his farm way off the grid. Amazingly, he’s already grown a full beard and developed an accent. They try and convince him to come back to Portland and be its mayor. “The way you touch those goats is just what Portland needs,” says Carrie. He wants to know who is running the city now. Cut to a shot of Roseanne seated at the mayor’s desk, with a “To be continued” tease splashed across the screen.
“Our congratulations to George, who has written something that has gotten 70,000,000 visits.”
–The owner of Linx PDX, showing off a page with nothing but the headline “Charlize Theron: NSFW.”
“We’re not using the microphones because we don’t want to injure any insects.”
–One of the participants in this year’s Battle of the Gentle Bands.