Bring on the roller derby! After a long, boring solo date, this week’s episode of The Bachelor really kicked into high gear when Sean Lowe forced the ladies to rock violently around the roller rink.
Torso and Tears
Never fear ladies; Bachelor Sean Lowe was shirtless and in his boxer briefs in the first two minutes of the episode. Undoubtedly overpaid host Chris Harrison also made his gratuitous appearance at the show’s opening, then fled the hive as quickly as he could. Also within the first segment, Leslie H. was inexplicably crying over not being chosen for the solo date – sigh.
Selma, who maintains a constant level of excitement not usually seen without medication, won the solo date and promptly laid her head in Sean’s lap during their private plane ride. Sean chuckled that he purposefully chose the date in the blisteringly hot Joshua Tree National Park in order to see girly girl Selma out of her element. So, basically, he’s a jerk, right? She’s already competing to date him, and he made her face her fear of heights to go rock climbing.
Selma scrambled up the rock gamely, they snuggled at the top, and then he took her to some sort of themed trailer park for dinner. She was almost convincing as she cooed up at him and feigned appreciation for the trailer park. He was less convincingly excited to hear about her Muslim background, and how her upbringing prevents her from kissing anyone on television. I choked back a little vomit when he wooed her with “You fall hard, don’t you?” Selma got a rose, and I reached for the Pepto.
Starlight Express to the Emergency Room
The group date included Catherine, Amanda, Lindsay, Sarah, Robyn, AshLee, Jackie, and troublemaker Tierra. In Sean’s continuing efforts to find the most terrible dates ever, he chose a roller derby for the group date! And, did I forget to mention that Sarah, the cute blonde, has only one arm? Sean considers letting her off the hook, then decided in typical paternalistic fashion that it would be best for her to complete the challenge.
Amanda seemed to be the roller derby horse to beat, but she wiped out (one might say she fell hard) and landed on her chin. After her trip to the ER, and most likely at the strong suggestion of the show’s legal team, Sean decided that maybe these women weren’t up to a roller derby, and they had a free skate followed by an awkward dinner.
Tierra apparently just at this point realized she was on a reality show, threw a tantrum about not being able to trust anyone, and dragged Sean away from Lindsay in a bikini and the hot tub to listen to her whine. The producers, I mean, Sean, clearly felt a connection with Tierra, and she received the rose, much to the dismay of the rest of the group.
Leslie H. Idolizes Working Girls
Back at the house, poker dealer Leslie H. was giddy to receive an invite to a solo date with a pair of sparkly earrings, declaring that it was just like her favorite movie, Pretty Woman. But apparently he thinks of her as a working girl, too, because he took her to live out her fantasy by shopping on Rodeo Drive. Still, even after their day of romance, Sean didn’t feel any chemistry, so Leslie did not get a rose and was sent home.
Everyone Hates Tierra
All the girls were sick of Tierra the “Tierrable,” and Catherine slipped Sean a lipstick-print note from her thigh. After the traditional parade of shiny hair, Amanda was the one sent home.
What do you think of Tierra? Do you think Sean is being too hard on the girls?