SkimIt
Is guest star Wilmer Valderrama as Yoni truly the great dog guru that Dallas and the rest of the women in Chatswin think, or is Fez of That 70's Show just a con man running a scam and looking for a free place to crash? Tessa knows that George will uncover the truth.
Suburgatory starring Jane Levy, Jeremy Sisto and Cheryl Hines airs on ABC Wednesdays at 9:30 pm ET.
Wilmer Valderrama as Yoni the Dog Whisperer
Will Wilmer Valderrama ever get to play a normal person with a normal name? Not on this episode of Suburgatory. He appears as "Yoni," a name that George (Jeremy Sisto) just cannot manage to pronounce properly. Dallas (Cheryl Hines) has called him in to help her fluffy little dog Yakult deal with anxiety issues, something which George thinks they could settle with a crate, a long walk outside and a game of fetch. Not Yoni, though, he has Dallas beguiled with his pseudo-new age doggie psychology, and convinces her that it is George who is at the core of Yakult's problem.
Tessa the Matchmaker
When Sheila Shay (Ana Gasteyer) needs help finding a boyfriend for her daughter Lisa (Allie Grant), why wouldn't she turn to Tessa (Jane Levy) for help? After all, her attempts to "find a suitor the old-fashioned way" by interviewing boys in her dining room didn't work - of course that's probably because she lured them in by pretending the Shays were looking for a teen to mow their lawn. As Lisa tries to fill the void in her life with a pudgy, adoring middle-schooler whom she mothers, Lisa goes online and finds someone she believes is a perfect, dreamy and poetic match - until he turns out to be her ex, Scott Strauss (James McDonell).
Yoni Unmasked - by Dalia
Since when is Dalia the smart one? Carly Chaikin's character is almost always the ditzy, clueless, bored valley girl-cum-suburbanite, but even she sees through Yoni's scam. After he gives Dalia and her mother (and their dog) massages, Yoni admits to her that he is not after her mother but really just needs a place to crash for four to six weeks, as he is broke and his ex-girlfriend ruined his credit.
"Daddy Altman" Bonds With Dalia
Hoping to win Dallas back and expose Yoni for a fraud, George sneaks into the Royce's house to take Yakult out for a walk. When Dalia walks in on him, he invites her to come along, and they have a heart to heart while talking Yakult out for an evening stroll. When they return they run into Dallas and Yoni, who despite insulting George eventually gets caught in his lie - and leaves. All ends happily for Dallas, Dalia and "Daddy Altman" - but as for Tessa and Lisa, well, that is to be continued.
Best Lines
"Help me. I do not want to die alone in a bed full of animal dander." – Lisa
"So your plan is to sentence this dog to prison? On what grounds, third degree cuteness?" – Yoni
"You must hydrate if you want your bud to open." – Yoni
"How could someone who looks so good on paper and who looks so good in person be such a freaking bore?" – Tessa
