Walden Schmidt (Ashton Kutcher) finds himself in good company, as January must be the month for breakups. He is joined by Alan (Jon Cryer) and two other friends in commiserating with booze, hot tubs and sob stories.
The Key Argument
Three recently single men in need of comfort find some healing in whiskey, video games and good conversation. Walden, who is now on his own, finds out that Alan is single again. All Lindsey (Courtney Thorne-Smith) asks for is a key to his house. A simple request considering the house isn't even his to give away. Needing his privacy, Alan turns her down and ends up joining Walden in the single world.
The commiserating begins with Berta (Conchata Ferrell) fixing Schmidt a bagel and coffee along with some unwanted advice. There is no cheering him up as he is fixated on Kate's Facebook status. Finding zero comfort in Berta's heartless compassion, he ventures into the office only to find that his business partner is now single. Alan makes an attempt to apologize to Lindsey only to find her in the classic little black date dress. With that plan a failure, he comes across a neighbor named Herb who is also suffering from a broken heart.
Four Men and a Couch
What better way to seek comfort than to fall into a couch with whiskey and a good talk. Schmidt and his partner are quickly joined by Alan as he sadly admits that his relationship is over. They all agree that what makes relationships so difficult is the women.
With a racing game on the big screen they discuss who would be the one woman they would want to make love to. It doesn't seem to matter if she is dead, alive, or even animated. Out of the blue Schmidt picks Mother Theresa because he figures she gave her whole life for the benefit of mankind, and one man should give her a little something back. Bored with the couch they venture over to the neighborhood bar calling dibs on the blondes and brunettes. Schmidt's partner has the nerve to tell some women at the next table of his vast riches. If that doesn't work, he offers sex for $5,000. He leaves wearing their martinis.
Hot Tub Therapy
The four end up in the hot tub with beers and a discussion on how they will get women. After the shock wears off that Alan wouldn't give Lindsey a key to the house, they tell him that he is the only one of the four that actually has a chance of getting the woman back. With the help of teamwork the three others kidnap Lindsey's date in order to give Alan a couple minutes with his love. She agrees to get back together. The remaining singles end the evening being chased by a Rottweiler and wearing nothing but towels, and a pink bathrobe.
"Guys ask questions that you can answer like how are we fixed for ham?" – Schmidt
"That woman gave her whole life for the benefit of mankind and one man should give her a little something back." – Schmidt