SkimIt
Dallas coaching T-Ball? Mr. Wolfe a boxing coach? Is the sports world ready for this? It is, at least in Chatswin. Cheryl Hines, Rex Lee, Alan Tudyk and Jeremy Sisto turn the local sports world on its ear in Suburgatory.
Suburgatory starring Jane Levy, Jeremy Sisto and Cheryl Hines airs on ABC Wednesdays at 9:30pm ET
Mr. Wolfe Seeks "Ask Tessa's" Advice for the Lovelorn
Who goes to Tessa for romantic advice? Everyone at Chatswin High, including the principal, Mr. Wolfe (Rex Lee). Distressed that his lover, cafeteria Chef Allen, may prefer the visiting Chef Norman, Mr. Wolfe asks Tessa (Jane Levy) if she will advise him on how to win him back. Lisa (Allie Grant) warns her that this is a bad idea, but Tessa forges ahead - with sad results for poor Mr. Wolfe, whose suspicions are only confirmed when he barges in on Chef Allen's Oscar party - where he finds Chef Norman covered in gold paint to look like a living Oscar statuette.
Dallas Coaches T-Ball?
Dallas (Cheryl Hines) is feuding with Noah (Alan Tudyk) and decides to beat him at his own game, T-Ball, by forming and coaching her own team, the "Crystal Crusaders." Unfortunately, Dallas as George (Jeremy Sisto) observes watching a team practice, knows absolutely nothing about the game. She has her kids dressed in pink tights with flowing sleeves and scarves and black capes, and instead of batting and catching has them "practice our fancy runs."
George Steps Up to the Plate
Can George save the "Crystal Crusaders?" He takes over, makes them trade in their silly pink tights and black capes for more appropriate baseball attire, but then proceeds to push them, berate them and wear them down – refusing their pleas for frozen treats and juice boxes as he tries to toughen up the pee-wee T-ball team. When one little girl, Nicole, wants to keep practicing their "fancy runs" like Dallas had them doing, George tells her no. "But our fancy runs show our individuality," she replies pleadingly. "No," George scolds her, "our fancy runs show the other team that we have no idea what we are doing." When he sees how cut-throat they have become during the game with Noah's team, however, he softens, and admits to Dallas that maybe she was right, and that "they should be playing for fun, for wristlets, for frozen treats."
"Some of Us are Hovering Around 12 Percent" Admits Lisa
Principal Wolfe is a boxing coach? Yes he is, as Tessa and Lisa discover when they go looking for him at the local gym. Tessa tells Principal Wolfe that she is "100 percent certain" that he should confront Chef Allen, but Lisa, not so much. As she adds "some of us are a little shy of 100 percent. Some of us are hovering around 12 percent."
Best Lines
“He's the catch of the day and you're Friday's chili made with Thursday's hamburger meat." – Tessa
" He likes coaching T-ball? I'm gonna take away his little Bad News Bears on their own Field of Dreams like a Natural." – Dallas
"After watching today's practice it's clear to me that you know nothing about the game." – George
