SkimIt
Poor Parker Young as Ryan Shay, he of the “perfect body" and much less developed mind. The time is fast approaching for him to bring up the "L" word - L for leaving, that is. He doesn't know how to break that to his girlfriend, Tessa (Jane Levy), but little does he know that she, too, has dreams of saying farewell to Chatswin -and eventually, to him.
Suburgatory starring Jane Levy, Jeremy Sisto and Cheryl Hines airs on ABC Wednesdays at 9:30 pm ET.
Death by Steaming: Marty Krupp Says Farewell - With 3,000 Vacation Days Unused
Crotchety old town civil servant Marty Krupp, as played by veteran character actor Jack Walsh, dies in the country club while sharing a long steam with Noah (Alan Tudyk) and George (Jeremy Sisto). Just before dying Marty admits to George that he has never set foot out of Chatswin, but with 3,000 vacation days he is finally ready to take a trip. This and the revelation that he has eaten the same thing for breakfast every day for 50 years (corned beef hash and eggs) makes everyone in town believe that George was Marty's "bestie." The wake at the country club includes Dalia (Carly Chaikin) singing a very bad version of "Send in the Clowns," and Dallas (Cheryl Hines) showing up with M-a-r-t-y spelled out on her nails as a tribute.
Ryan Lied!
Tessa (Jane Levy) knows that Ryan (Parker Young) has been lying to her but it is not about another girl who is pursuing him (much to her relief) but about colleges - all of whom are after Ryan to play football for them. Ryan doesn't want to leave Tessa, and damns his "perfect body," but Tessa has dreams of her own of leaving town and going off to college, perhaps even Columbia in New York City.
"Goodbye, Hash 'n Eggs"
As George and Ryan are about to put Marty's ashes to rest inside the old man's locker at the club, they find a pair of airplane tickets to Bora Bora. One is for Marty, the other for a woman named Fatima - who they discover is a black waitress at the town diner. They break the news to her that Marty is dead - only to realize that she only knew him by what he ordered for breakfast there every day for 50 years - "you mean Hash 'n Eggs is dead?" They give her the ashes and the tickets, and watch mesmerized as she plants a big wet kiss on the urn (which Noah says was much more erotic than it should have been).
The "L" Word and The Gurt Locker
Ryan pours his heart out to his sister Lisa (Allie Grant) while sitting outside The Gurt Locker yogurt stand, telling her that he wishes he was fat and out of shape like her so he could stay in Chatswin with Tessa. Lisa explains to him that Tessa is also going to be leaving town, and that he should make the best of things while they are still together. Ryan rushes over to Tessa's and tells her that the time has come to bring up "the L word" - L for leaving. Until that time comes, however, they can be together.
Best Lines
"You think you know somebody. You wear their letterman jacket. You put your tongue on top of their tongue and you move it around, only to find out that they are a lying liar!" – Tessa
"Tessa's going to attend a school that values a curious mind, creativity, hard work, intellect, whereas you're most likely going to attend the University of Florida." – Lisa
"In this crazy meshuga world you'd have to be a schmendrick not to know your beshert when you meet him." (Translation: you have to be a stupid fool not to recognize your soulmate). – Dalia
