We ring in the sequester as we bid farewell to the pontiff this week and hosts Jon Stewart of The Daily Show and Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report were right there to fill us in on the economic repercussions and lost loafers that come with each scenario.
More Inconvenient Truths
Since a solution to the budget crisis wasn't reached in time to stop $1.2 trillion in automatic spending cuts, Americans are bracing for changes across the board. Stewart remarked the government doesn't seem to be working very hard to solve the issue, so basically, we're screwed. Government officials have given up and are all "bucket listing," including First Lady Michelle Obama (who appeared on the Oscars). Colbert, first of all, thought the first lady was a party crasher at the awards. He also thinks President Barack Obama is trying to scare us into being responsible. He called the sequester a terrible solution, but thought maybe the threat of an Ebola monkey st loose on them could spur Congress to action.
Bye, Bye Pope-y
This week, the Roman Catholic Church bid farewell to Pope Benedict XVI. Stewart touched on the terrible timing of his departure, given Italy's unresolved election. Colbert, calling himself the "cardinal of basic cable," is following the developments closely. He found the former pope's continued role confusing and said the media is dwelling on the past instead of focusing on a new chapter for the church while they dig for scandals behind his resignation. Both men mocked the way his red leather Prada shoes being taken away made headlines.
As always, the gentlemen picked some winners who seemed to really step in it this week or just say things that didn't make sense. Stewart talked about politician Dov Hikind who justified his appearance in blackface by explaining it was Purim. Sure, that works. For Colbert, this week's superstar was evangelical television celebrity Pat Robertson, who explained that demons can live within secondhand clothing. Colbert, however, thought we should err on the side of caution and follow cleansing instructions carefully. No hot water. They like that.
This week marked the 10th anniversary of the Iraq War and the 12th anniversary of the War on Terror. Stewart discussed the aptly timed war of words -- almost -- between legendary journalist Bob Woodward, who claimed he was threatened for speaking out against the president in relation to the sequester. Colbert focused on the censorhip drama surrounding the trial of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed in Guantanamo Bay. He discussed all the eavesdropping going on, implied the CIA was involved, and suggested Gitmo might be turning into retirement home of sorts.
How will Americans cope with the budget cuts? How long will we be popeless? Stewart and Colbert will be standing by to comment as yet another time of transition begins.
Daily Show Correspondent Jason Jones enlightens viewers on the dangers of the maple syrup trade in Canada.
Best Back 'n Forth
February 25, 2013 -- Actor Donnie Wahlberg explains to Stewart the shady business of pitting his hometown against New York City.
Jon Stewart: "You're playing a New York City cop on your show, you're doing a show about Boston cops... I feel like you are getting ready to pull some s___ on the east coast."
Donnie Wahlberg: "I think I've been already pulling some s___ on the east coast for the last few years. Playing a New York cop and being from Boston, it's very delicate."
February 25, 2013 -- Author and map expert Simon Garfield explains to Colbert why the traditional map should be appreciated as art.
Simon Garfield: "Columbus got it all wrong and that's a wonder. He didn't have Google Maps -- he thought he was gonna hit Japan and he got it so wrong and here we are."
Stephen Colbert: "Right. If we had accurate maps, we'd all be Japanese now."
February 26, 2013 -- Dr. Michio Kaku, a theoretical physicist, explains to Colbert how an asteroid could come in contact with Earth in 2036.
Dr. Michio Kaku: "When it grazes the atmosphere on the second pass, in 2036, there's a window of opportunity even where the thing could hit the Earth, even though it's still very small."
Stephen Colbert: "Because of the friction it encounters in 2029?"
Dr. Kaku: "That's right, on the second pass."
Colbert: "Can we lubricate the Earth in any way so there's not so much friction?"
February 27, 2013 -- Filmmaker R. J. Cutler discusses his new documentary about Dick Cheney with Stewart.
Jon Stewart: "Let me ask you a question. That haunting music . . . does that just play when he's around?"
R. J. Cutler: "It does, yes. And it's amazing and it saves you a lot of money on score."
Stewart: "I can imagine that would be the case."
February 28, 2013 -- Colbert asks former speechwriter for the Obama Administration Jon Favreau about his level of influence on the president through his words.
Stephen Colbert: "Was I actually hearing you speak? Is there any chance you're the first black president?"
Jon Favreau: [Laughs] "There's no chance, there's no chance."